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EGO -- Edging God Out

Wayne Dyer said it best - EGO stands for “Edging God Out.” The ego filters your reality. It creates a worldview based on our beliefs, fears, desires, expectations, experiences, and anything else we decide to hold onto in our minds. It tries to find happiness outside of ourselves. For the most part, a lot of us are not even aware of all the stuff we judge or identify with. 

It is this unawareness that brings forth the ego, and we live with a false perception of ourselves, others, and the world. The issue with the ego is not the ego itself, but the illusion of the self. Usually, we never begin to question this illusion until we hit rock bottom or hear something that makes it click. There comes a point in our lives that makes us question our identity or beliefs of life. Something that makes you wonder “Who am I?” “What is the point of all this?” Sometimes this means going through a rut and finding a great book, therapy, practice or mentor. If you have not had this before, let this be the nudge that sets forth your inner journey. We must stop looking through the lens of the ego to unveil who we truly are – one with God. 

The more we are in ego, the more we edge God out. Now, when I say God I don’t mean your traditional, religious definition of a man in the sky that judges. I am referring to the life force energy that generates us and nature. I will use the word God in this post, but feel free to replace it with any word that suits you – the light, source, the divine, etc. 

What is an ego?
Some of you hear the word ‘ego’ and you think of a person who is egotistical. Sure, the ego is an inflated sense of self, but there is so much more to it. 

The ego is a part of our psyche – it is thoughts and stories we held onto for as long. It shows up as the voice in our heads. It is a continual dialogue of our unconscious mind.

The ego is unlimited fear and desire. I want to compare the ego to an addict; it is addicted to negative thoughts. Usually, we have thoughts with a common theme that repeat. A blueprint that we believe to be true. We can get more into detail about the different ways ego shows up, but basically any judgement of ourselves in regards to other people, places or things. Judgement and a desire for anything is always ego – whether you label it as good or bad.

How does it show up?
Our ego is that voice in your head that is non-stop talking! Hi CRAZY, can you please be quiet for a second? Did you hear that? The problem is that most of us go about our days not even noticing this voice because we identify with it. If you sit and observe, this inner roommate has a LOT (of not so nice) things to say. This voice that we believe to be ‘me’ is ego.

Any thought, memory, emotion can show you your ego. All the roles and beliefs you identify with that make up your life’s blueprint -- who you are, what you have done, your heartbreak, your dreams, your fears -- it is always somewhere between pain and pleasure.

This means the ego is very unstable. It can make you think you are the best or the worst. The voice has kept track of your whole life, good and (especially) bad stuff so that it can judge the present moment through its own lens. “I am a good mom” “I am ugly” “I am better looking than most people” “I am shy” “I am intelligent”. Anything you think of yourself is not true about yourself. You are neither better nor worse than anyone. You are a being connected to all people and things.

Why don’t I notice it?
We are conditioned to believe we are this inner roommate. It has been there, judging, for as long as we can remember. You do not notice it because it is subtle and clever. It strings you along, giving you glimpses of happiness and pleasure. Making you believe that this was all your doing. When chaos comes crashing down, it gives you something to blame and something new to chase. This is the lifestyle we are used to. This is our ‘norm’, never questioning why we are chained by this voice.

Who am I, then?
You are the one observing the voice. The being who is noticing it. We are not what we have or what we do. We are a divine being connected to God, the eternal. 

Becoming aware of the ego makes space for our true self to come forward. We make space to exist just as we are. Within this space is where we will experience intense joy, peace and love. This space is our spirit; it is who we really are. 

What is the solution?
Our true self is who we are when the mind is quiet. We do not have to believe our thoughts. Of course, they serve a function to help us with the practical aspects of our lives, like being on time, solving day to day problems, etc. Most of the time it is just useless chatter. 

By becoming aware of the ego, we can detach from it and view it objectively, from the seat of the observer. If you have ever gone deep into meditation or prayer, you know this feeling. It is a skill that takes practice, but you can start by catching your ego from time to time. Observe what it’s saying, and without judgement, let it go. Realize that it is not you. 

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