A life with difficult relationships, filled with obstacles and losses, presents the most opportunity for the soul's growth. ― Brian L. Weiss
So many of us are constantly dealing with heartbreaks, yet we never seem to learn from our mistakes.
As humans, I believe we need to experience the good and bad – even break-ups – for personal growth. We need to learn to look back and appreciate everything that came out of our relationships, as they can be mini-lessons.
Here are five lessons that any breakup can teach us about ourselves, partners, and most importantly – love:
A real, loving and healthy relationship is filled with peace and happiness. Someone who truly loves you would never want to hurt you emotionally or physically. They won’t bring you down or try making you feel like you are not enough.
When you love someone you support and encourage them to be the best they can be. There are always going to be people who criticize you from the outside, but someone who loves you knows that your soul is perfect.
You are more than deserving. You say this all the time to your loved ones, but why is it so hard for you to really believe it yourself?
We sometimes get so lost in our everyday lives that we lose our sense of self. We forget who we really are. Well I’m here to remind you to love yourself first and love yourself entirely. You are worth it and you deserve it.
Please stop focusing and holding on to things that make you unhappy, that’s just negativity weighing you down. If you are in a relationship and find yourself crying all the time, then you need to cut your partner out. Lift yourself up, surround yourself by people who make you happy and do things that excite you. I promise you will see a positive change in your life.
3. Say goodbye to a toxic relationship
Every relationship is different, but one thing that they all have in common is love. I believe there is only one kind of love that exists – unconditional love.
Jealousy, possessiveness, pride, insecurity, aggressiveness and abusive behavior are surely not qualities of a loving relationship… rather a toxic one. Those qualities all come from the ego, which is not who we really are. It’s a person’s ego that feeds off the fear and pride. We have all experienced it and I am sure most of you can agree that acting on these unnecessary thoughts and feelings are damaging to others and yourself, as well.
Really try to pay attention and take the time to acknowledge it, you will realize that nothing positive ever comes out of it. Forgive them and forgive yourself. Learn from every experience. If more people would realize this and fight it with loving thoughts and actions then people would have healthier relationships with everyone.
Love is about understanding and respecting one another. If you are constantly seeing yourself as the victim of an argument and telling others that they are wrong, then I’m sorry to tell you but that is you not acting on a form of love.
Love is about understanding and accepting each other’s differences. I am not saying that you are forced to agree with everyone, but once you tell someone they are wrong that is you criticizing someone for not thinking or acting the way you do.
People who fail to understand that there is no real “right or wrong” are always going to have something negative to say. This is imperative because if more people understood this then it would save a lot of pointless arguments. Instead of nitpicking your differences just focus on what is right and what you love about a person. Keeping a positive mentality is part of having a healthy relationship.
5. You can’t control everything
Don’t get upset with people or the situation, ultimately that is just going to backfire on you. It is exhausting trying to control every single thing that happens in your life. Every time you catch yourself dwelling on something someone said or did, please just let it go. Block it with a happy thought. Train yourself!!!
Stop wondering why your partner won’t change for you, why they left you, why they don’t love you. At the end of the day, you will never be able to control that.
There is always room for growth, you cannot control someone else’s growth but you can control yours. The only thing you can control is who you are going to be and how you are going to treat others. You do your part as a loving person because the right person will love you for exactly who you are. Free yourself and let the ones you love be free. That is the beauty of it, to be with someone who genuinely wants to be with you even though they have the choice not to.